What’s in a name…or what’s your name?

I’ve always had a horrible memory. Names in particular have been a considerable challenge. Memory issues come as a side effect of anxiety. When your body is so busy flooding the brain with neurotransmitters, information storage and retrieval kind of gets swamped. The chemistry behind brain processing is fascinating and illuminating especially for someone whose life story is tied up in nervous system responses.

Over the years, I’ve tried to strengthen my memory and utilize different tricks. Some have worked…others not so much.

Way back in college, I was given a tip: “If you forget someone’s name, see if you can create a scenario where you need to write their name down and ask how they spell it.” It seemed brilliant and I had just the opportunity to practice it…ironically, in my chemistry class. Chemistry (and anything math or science) was(and is) not my strong suit...so...I was a hot mess of neurotransmition and consequently never got my lab partners’ names (despite the fact that I had a huge crush on one of them)…and if they’d mentioned their names (which I am SURE they did), my brain had NO recollection.

So, armed with a new tool, I took it upon myself to be the scribe in lab one morning. Beaming, and poised to carefully attend to their names, I asked, “How do you spell your names?” The first guy spelled out his name which seemed of Indian descent and I felt relieved and justified in asking how to spell it. Inspired and empowered after finishing his name, I turned to guy number two (crush guy). He stood there with a sheepish grin and waited. I smiled back and waited and waited and waited. Finally giving in to the awkwardly growing silence I said, “and you?” He smirked and said, “b...(long pause)…....o....(long pause)…” I closed my eyes and felt my heart sink into my stomach and waited for the final letter...cringing...knowing what was next… “b”…the last letter came. Bob. I felt sick. I glanced up to find him laughing hysterically. Me, I was mortified. Needless to say, I will never forget his name. I will also never remember anything from chemistry class due to my utter humiliation. He was a gem about it but I felt so ridiculous and the panic attacks flared at the thought of class.

We live and we learn…and learn…and learn…and learn…here's to learning in the new year!